Divorced single mum, 35, matches with 21-year-old man on FirstDate: ‘A bit too inappropriate’
A 35-year-old divorced single mother revealed that she was matched with a man 14 years younger than her on the Government’s dating service, FirstDate.
In an Instagram video uploaded on Oct 7, user @yvelyn_xiaoyi shared her experience of being matched with a 21-year-old man, saying it was “a bit too inappropriate”.
FirstDate is the Government’s pilot matchmaking service for public officers aged 21 to 35, using an algorithm to match participants based on their preferences.
To get a match, users must sign in with Singpass and complete a questionnaire covering their interests, habits, values and preferences, including factors such as religion, age and deal-breakers.
Applications closed on Oct 5, with the platform open to singles as well as those who are widowed or divorced.
These public officers will also not be matched with colleagues from the same government agency.
The video has since amassed over 79,000 views and over 350 likes.
They had an 87 per cent match
Yvelyn_xiaoyi, who goes by Xiaoyi, recounted in Mandarin that she received a message from the Government with a link that directed her to the information of the first male she matched with on the platform.
The man she was matched with was 21 years old, she said.
According to a screenshot included in the video, he is from the Immigration and Checkpoints Authority (ICA).
His profile description read: “Work is tiring, life is boring and I’m not thinking. Just want to teleport onto my bed RN.”
The screenshot also showed that the pair had an 87 per cent match, with Xiaoyi given the option to accept or skip the match.
Xiaoyi, a divorced single mother, quipped that the Government had matched her with a “21-year-old little brother”.
She also pointed out that the man’s profile stated, in “big words”, that he wanted children.
However, she said his profile description made her feel uncomfortable, as she felt it reflected a negative attitude.
An “obvious mismatch,” said Xiaoyi.
As she was deciding whether to accept the match and preparing to record a video about it, she said the man “unmatched” her.
“Originally, I also thought this was a bit too inappropriate,” she said.
Felt he was too young for her
Based on his profile, Xiaoyi described the man as “just a kid”, noting that his favourite thing to do was stay at home.
“I already have a 13-year-old son,” she said. “If I’m with this little brother, I’m also responsible for providing him with emotional value.”
While she said she had the energy to do so, she added that she could not provide it to others “for free”.
“This is definitely not suitable for me,” she stressed.
In response, one netizen commented that it was “quite common” for a 21-year-old man to be bored.
“It takes many more years when you start loving and appreciating life. Guys also take longer to mature in general,” he wrote.
Xiaoyi also said she would have to wait another month for her next match, with the next cycle reopening on Oct 20.
While she felt her match was “inappropriate”, Xiaoyi said she was reassured that all applicants were civil servants whose identities had been reviewed by the Government.
“So if you want to lie, it’s hard,” she said.
She encouraged other applicants to think carefully before accepting a match, saying it could be “embarrassing” when it came time to meet in person.
Xiaoyi added that one advantage of FirstDate was that it allowed applicants to take dating seriously, as users could report any issues they encountered.
“Two people, as long as one person disagrees, the meeting will not go ahead,” she said.
She selected the entire 21 to 35 age range
In a second video, Xiaoyi said she had selected the entire 21 to 35 age range when applying.
She noted that a younger man could still be mature and a good person, while an older man might have more life experience and topics to talk about.
“I have no limit on this,” she said, adding that she understood why the algorithm matched her with a 21-year-old man.
She added that she was concerned about potential matches recognising her name and coming across her videos on social media.
“But it’s okay, just try,” she said.
Xiaoyi also pointed out that she was probably in a “better frame of mind” than most applicants, as she had been married before and her child was already in school.
“I have nothing to say and look for a man to change my life,” she said.
She said she decided to apply to find out more about the advantages and downsides of FirstDate.
Based on her first match, Xiaoyi said she felt the platform was more about getting to know someone as a friend, rather than pursuing bigger goals such as marriage and buying a house.
Stomp has reached out to Xiaoyi and GovTech for comment.
Netizens intrigued
Since FirstDate launched, many netizens have been intrigued by how the matchmaking process works and the matches applicants have received.
A Reddit post on Oct 6 asked: “FirstDate GovTech – How’s it going?”
The post, which has garnered more than 110 comments, drew varied reactions to the matchmaking service.
Some users who said they had applied also shared their experiences, with some saying they had successfully received matches while others said their applications were rejected.
Others responded with jokes, with one quipping: “Our first kid on the way already. Singaporean efficiency.”
Another described FirstDate as a “cute initiative”, adding that they hoped it would work out for applicants as it can be difficult for adults to meet people outside of work.
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