Couple recounts racist encounter after husband is told: ‘If (your children) look like you, horrible lah, black’
A woman said an encounter at a toy shop turned racist after a man questioned her ethnicity and later described her husband’s dark skin as “horrible”.
Netashya Esmon, founder of home and space staging company Eli Spaces, recounted the incident in a 79-second reel posted on her Instagram account @nettmons on July 25.
She said she and her husband, who’s the founder of IT company Planet Tech, were at an unnamed toy shop when they had what she described as “a brush with first-hand racism”.
“We had this uncle inside the shop and he looked at me,” she said. He then asked her: “You from where? China, ah?”
“It pissed me off,” she said. She told him she was Singaporean, but he then questioned why she was so fair.
“You drink milk, ah? Drink beer, ah?” he apparently asked her.
As she was wearing a hijab, the woman said she took offence at his suggestion that she drank beer, but remained polite.
“I told him I’m ang moh, la,” she said, explaining her Eurasian-Malay mix.
‘What colour are your children?’
According to the woman, the man then asked her if she had children.
When she replied she had two, he then asked her what they looked like and what colour they were.
“The audacity! I said purple, because he was really pissing me off, so I went to like being sarcastic with him,” she said.
The video then pans to her husband, who said he told the man that their children’s skin colour was similar to hers.
According to him, the man replied: “If look like you, horrible lah, black.”
The video has garnered more than 44,900 views, 990 reactions and 110 comments.
Some say man may have been joking
Some netizens tried to downplay the encounter
“He’s just joking lah,” said an Instagram user.
“In my experience, these uncles and aunts usually are racist but don’t mean any harm with their racism. I’m not sure if it makes sense but it’s just how they were brought up,” another said.
Others suggested the man might have lacked the vocabulary to express himself appropriately.
“Sometimes the elderly — they are (lacking) words to describe or say (things) properly,” said the netizen.
But several commenters disagreed with this explanation.
“That’s straight-out racism, cannot justify with anything,” said one in response.
Another added: “Nah, it’s just blatant racism... don’t need to defend the elderly.”
One commenter said poor communication skills were no excuse.
“I know a lot of elderly who can’t express (themselves) properly yet aren’t racist,” the user said.
Several commenters said such behaviour should be called out rather than tolerated.
“Guys, just call them out as racist. Because most of the time, they don’t realise it’s racist and micro aggression remarks,” another said.
One person even called for the shop to be named so customers could avoid supporting it.
“I’m sorry you experienced this. It’s not OK. Places and people like these need to be called out,” said the netizen.
However, another user asked whether the man might simply have been trying to be friendly.
“I mean, ya they way you tell the story it’s against him, maybe cos you’re pissed off. But did he sound friendly or really curious?”
A netizen, responding to the question, replied: “Enabling such comments as “friendly or really curious” sorta gives them the pass to treat others as such, though.”
Nettmons later said the man had been “rude from the get-go”, and added in another comment that she regretted not telling the man off.
“I was too stunned to call him out,” she added .“Only after I left, I came up with things I should’ve said.”
Others share similar encounters
Several commenters shared their own experiences with racism.
One recounted: “I had a Chinese family in London comment a few years ago, ‘You are so pretty! What race are you?” I said Malay! And the husband and wife said, ‘We thought you are Chinese!’ I was so dumbfounded! It was an insult disguised.”
Another said an older woman on the MRT “once looked at my firstborn then told my Malay husband and I, ‘Luckily her skin colour follow you, not your husband.’”.
She replied: “Aunty, skin dark never mind. Heart not black can already.”
Others saw humour in the original poster’s sarcastic response about her children being purple.
“No wait, I wanna know what’s his reaction when you said your kids’ colour was purple,” one commenter said.
Stomp has reached out to nettmons for more information.
Explore more on these topics
See something interesting? Contribute your story to us.
