Spill It With Stomp: Who brings cats to a baby shower?
Spill It With Stomp is a new column where Stomp writers Cherry Tan and Ethel Tseng — two bespectacled women with bobs who definitely aren’t professional therapists — dish advice on stressful issues. Whether it’s relationships, family drama or work... Cherry promises not to judge, but Ethel cannot say the same. All this to say: take their advice with a pinch of salt — and don’t hold it against them if things go wrong.
Today, a first-time mum-to-be wonders if she’s overreacting to uninvited (and unannounced) guests to her baby shower — two cats brought by her husband’s cousin.
Hi Cherry and Ethel,
I’m 23 (F) and pregnant. My cousin-in-law brought her cats to my baby shower.
I’m about seven months pregnant now with my firstborn, and feeling anxious — but super excited — about being a first-time mum. We had our baby shower a few weeks ago and we invited our families over to gather before the baby arrives. It was all going well until my husband’s cousin (F) and her husband came for the event. I was busy in the kitchen playing hostess, topping up drinks and food so I didn’t notice them at first.
But when I came out to the living room to continue mingling with our guests, I was shocked to see my cousin-in-law and her husband seated on the floor with a pet carrier... and two of their cats were inside. I was shocked — they didn’t call ahead to ask if it was alright to bring the cats!
I have a pet cat as well and it could have ended in an ugly showdown as cats are very territorial and don’t like unknown cats in their space. My husband quickly put our cat away in one of our bedrooms to avoid a literal catfight from breaking out. When asked why they brought their cats, my cousin-in-law just shrugged and said she was scared they would make a mess at home, as they’re not used to being alone.
The rest of the baby shower continued without incident, luckily, but I’m still fuming about it because I found it so rude — there could have been family members who were allergic, and cats can be quite unpredictable in terms of temperament. The least they could have done was call ahead to ask. Am I overreacting?
Cherry
I’ll start off by saying that I love cats and really, the more, the merrier. But I get why you’re mad.
My one-year-old tabby cat named Dustin is adorable, but will probably lunge at any other feline that threatens to take his place in my heart. Also, most cat lovers should know that cats need to be introduced to their feline friends — or any other animal — progressively, and not suddenly.
As someone who enjoys hosting, I also find it impolite when uninvited guests turn up, no matter how cute they are (or how loudly they purr). They should have called ahead to ask or inform you if they felt compelled to bring their cats along. Alternatively, one of them should have stayed in to look after the cats.
Perhaps future baby showers should be kept smaller — left for the immediate family and several close friends — or just save your money and spend it on your kid when they’re out in the world.
Ethel
As an anti-cat person, I, too, would have been horrified if a guest showed up with two pint-sized predators ready to pounce on me at any moment.
Beyond my totally valid fear of animals that seem to be secretly plotting my demise behind those huge, roving eyeballs, this is a basic courtesy issue. You’ve graciously opened your doors to others, sometimes even out of obligation — the least they could do was to be thoughtful in return.
Your cousin-in-law’s excuse that her cats “aren’t used to being alone” doesn’t really hold up either. If separation anxiety is that severe, then maybe the answer was to stay home with them and skip the gathering altogether.
That said, here’s why it’s worth resisting the urge to replay the incident every night before bed.
Nobody ended up in the A&E with scratches and hives, or had to endure a dramatic slow-motion cat chase through the buffet table. Your husband handled the situation quickly and disaster was avoided — more than I can say about my traumatic run-ins with those tiny furry assassins.
Sometimes people aren’t malicious.
They may just be astonishingly oblivious.
Hot Takes are opinion pieces written by Stomp journalists, based on their personal experiences and viewpoints. They reflect the writer’s perspective and do not necessarily reflect the views of SPH Media.
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