Noisy Paya Lebar temple-goers rob grieving family of quiet moment: ‘Respect costs nothing, but means everything’
Welcome to Stomping Ground — a space where Stompers share reflections, personal essays and social commentaries that spark conversation and insight.
A woman is calling for mutual respect after her grieving family had their temple visit marred by other loud and inconsiderate guests, spoiling what was meant to be a special day.
Stomper B said the upsetting incident occurred at Nam Ann Siang Theon Temple at Paya Lebar Crescent on Aug 11, which was her mother’s second death anniversary.
B’s family had an appointment for a priest’s chanting ritual at 10.30am, but arrived early to prepare offerings and found another family already there.
Although she did not count how many there were, she said it was a “big group” seemingly comprising three generations, though all were adults.
“A large family was using the second and third row of tables for their own prayers,” the Stomper recounted.
“Out of respect, we chose to wait quietly until their chanting finished before preparing our own prayers in the first row.”
However, the same respect was not shown to B’s family, she said.
“The moment our master began chanting and our prayers started, the same family — still gathered behind — continued talking loudly, laughing and sharing updates as they ate,” said B.
“Their voices grew so loud that our master had to turn around repeatedly, yet no one seemed to notice or care.”
According to B, she tried to catch the group’s attention and signalling to them, but to no avail. Desperate, she decided to approach them instead.
B said she politely spoke to someone in the group and requested that they lower their voices. However, the noise only quietened briefly before resuming. The same thing happened after B approached another man in the group.
“They carried on as though our solemn prayers were of no consequence, leaving only when our service was drawing to a close,” B told Stomp.
“They appeared to be well educated, yet they seemed to have forgotten the most basic value: respect.”
B said the incident left her family feeling deeply disappointed and hurt, especially for her 85-year-old father.
“He has weak legs and poor health. He was already emotional and missing my mum. He took a lot of courage and effort to come and visit my mum,” she added.
“We had come to honour my mother, yet we could barely hear our own prayers. It pains me that even in a place of worship, and during a solemn occasion to remember the departed, basic consideration and respect seem so lacking.”
What happened to mutual respect?
B said she believes many of us have been in similar situations where “we are polite and yield space to others, and yet receive no courtesy in return”.
She noted that this was not about demanding special treatment, but upholding shared decency such as keeping voices low in sacred spaces and silencing conversation when prayers are taking place.
“We visit temples to remember our loved ones, seek peace and offer our respects. Please let us not rob others of that quiet moment with their departed family members,” B pleaded.
“Respect costs nothing, but means everything to those grieving.”
Now that the Hungry Ghost Festival — a time to honour our departed loved ones — has begun, the Stomper would like to share a reminder.
“Respect our ancestors, respect the dead and respect those who come to pray.”
Have your say on Stomping Ground! Write to us at stomp@sph.com.sg or WhatsApp 9384 3761.
Explore more on these topics
See something interesting? Contribute your story to us.
