Just friends? Woman questions relationship after ex-BF gets together with colleague soon after break-up
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When does a friendship become something more — and what happens when your partner insists there is nothing to worry about?
A Stomper is sharing her close friend’s experience after watching the woman struggle with the end of a relationship of more than two years.
Her friend, who is in her 40s, started dating a man in his 30s in 2023.
She later became concerned about his relationship with a female colleague.
According to the Stomper, her friend first became aware of the other woman in December 2024 after discovering that her then-partner had gone on a trip to Batam with several colleagues.
She said her friend had initially been told it was a company-organised chalet.
As her concerns grew, she confronted both her partner and the other woman.
Both maintained that they were “just friends”.
However, the Stomper said her friend subsequently learnt of behaviour that she felt went beyond the boundaries of an ordinary friendship.
She claimed the pair travelled together on more than one occasion, including trips where the man drove the woman to her family home in Kuala Lumpur.
According to the Stomper, they also had access to each other’s phones, shared their GPS locations and communicated through platforms including WhatsApp and Instagram.
‘These are not things people do for just friends’
At one point, the man asked for a “cooling period” in his relationship with the Stomper’s friend.
But instead of reassuring her, what allegedly happened during that period only deepened her suspicions.
The Stomper claimed the man bought the other woman expensive gifts, exchanged presents with her, drove her around and brought her drinks when she was having her period.
He even cleaned a toilet for her, she said.
“These are not things people do for ‘just friends’,” said the Stomper.
“What hurt the most wasn’t just the situation — it was the blatant contradiction between words and actions.”
She said the other woman knew her friend was in a relationship with the man and had portrayed herself as someone who believed that “women should support women”.
Despite her suspicions, her friend initially chose to believe the pair.
“She held on to the belief that a woman would never knowingly hurt another woman,” said the Stomper.
Relationship ended after more than 2 years
The couple’s relationship eventually ended in March 2025, after they went on a family holiday with his relatives and parents.
According to the Stomper, it was the man who ended the relationship.
She said he and the other woman became a couple less than two weeks later, leading her friend to question whether their relationship had already developed beyond friendship before the break-up.
However, the Stomper acknowledged that she does not know for certain when the pair became romantically involved.
‘She is no longer the person we once knew’
More than a year later, the Stomper said her friend is still struggling with what happened.
“She is now in a state of survival,” she said.
“She has quietened down, constantly questioning her own judgment and even her beliefs.
“The person she is today is very different from who she used to be — once easy-going, open and unguarded, and now someone who has built walls just to protect herself.
“She is no longer the person we once knew.”
The Stomper said her friend had entered the relationship knowing that their age difference and different stages of life could eventually pull them apart.
She had even told friends that she did not necessarily expect the relationship to last forever.
“But she still chose to give her best — or at least what she believed was her best — into that relationship,” said the Stomper.
“Her mindset was simple: even if it didn’t work out in the end, she wanted to walk away knowing she had tried wholeheartedly.
“She understood that sometimes love fades. She was prepared for that.
“What she was never prepared for was betrayal.”
The experience has left the Stomper wondering whether relationship boundaries have become increasingly blurred and whether behaviour that some consider inappropriate is now more readily dismissed.
“It makes us wonder — has betrayal become something so easily dismissed in today’s society?” she said.
She hopes sharing her friend’s experience will encourage others to reflect on honesty, boundaries and respect in their own relationships.
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