Bridesmaid laments getting only $100 hongbao, asks whether weddings becoming too transactional here
Someone on Reddit claimed she was a bridesmaid for a friend and recounted what a terrible experience it was.
The worst part was the hongbao, posted the Redditor with the user name TryingMyBesttttttt in the askSingapore sub under the title "Bridesmaids sorrow" on Nov 26.
"The groom gave the gate crash red packets for show, and the couple took back all red packets after the morning session," said the Redditor.
"We had to pay for the bridesmaid dresses ourselves. We only got a total of $100 in red packets from them, which was not enough to cover dresses, transport.
"I understood from everyone that bridesmaids usually keep the gatecrash red packets.
"I also gave an extra $20 to $30 in my dinner red packet"
She added the couple who got married were "not challenged financially".
"They splurged on what made them look good (dresses, venue, decor)," said the Redditor.
"The couple also complained about how some guests did not give them enough red packet to cover the table costs.
"The couple specifically made bridesmaids and groomsmen (those doing registration duties) to ensure that guests WROTE their names on their packets. It was SO embarrassing that we had to double-check and make them write or write the names ourselves.
The Redditor asked whether she was demanding too much.
"Are weddings getting too transactional in Singapore?" she wondered. "Every red packet received is seen as a way to 'cover costs'."
Another Redditor replied to the post: "I think both you and your friends are transactional in different ways.
"Your friend in expecting guests to cover her wedding costs and collecting morning angbaos back.
"You in associating your angbao to them, to how much you get back from them. When it shouldn't be that case.
"In any case, $100 bridesmaid angbao is kinda the higher end of market rate, though. Unless they mentioned upfront that they will be covering dresses before everything, they shouldn't be expected to cover it."
Someone else pointed out the $100 was for all the bridesmaids, not each of them.
