Video of woman on phone as crying child rolls on ground goes viral, parent says it was 'negligently captioned'
A short video showing a woman seated at a void deck with her back to a wailing boy rolling on the ground has gone viral, sparking a heated online discourse on parenting, handling tantrums and the risks of making assumptions online.
The eight-second clip was shared on Facebook page Singapore Stuff on Feb 24. The post claimed that the woman, described as a "helper", was "playing on her phone and didn't do anything" while the child cried for "a very, very long time".
Geotagged at Tampines, the video has since garnered more than 443,000 views, 975 reactions and 290 comments.
Mixed reactions online
Some netizens were quick to criticise the woman, assuming she was a domestic worker and accusing her of neglecting the crying child.
"Maid (busy talking) to boyfriend," one wrote. "What (happens) if he runs out (onto) the road?" commented another.
Others, however, cautioned against jumping to conclusions without finding out what was really happening.
"You don't know their story, doesn't mean you can make your own. Don't like something, approach them and ask, not film them quietly and post on social media like a big hero," said a Facebook user. "What if she's the mum?" another asked.
"Nowadays, bo liao (useless) people a lot. Without knowing the reason, just shame people," yet another said.
Several commenters defended the approach shown in the video, saying that allowing a child to cry during a meltdown can sometimes be an intentional parenting strategy.
"This is obviously a full meltdown, and the correct way is to let the kid act it out before talking to the kid. The helper is doing the right thing," one netizen wrote.
"I would do the same with my son if he throws such a tantrum. I always tell him that I do not negotiate with terrorists," another said, half-jokingly.
There were also more nuanced views.
"Letting a child cry safely is okay. Ignoring them while scrolling your phone isn't," said a netizen.
Several domestic helpers chimed in, too, noting that bystanders may misinterpret such situations.
"Before I have an employer... The kid (boy) if asking something and the mother does not give, he will just lay down anywhere anyhow... But the mother just ignored it. I always ask mam please do something... Scared people think something wrong," said one.
"When I took care of two kids, they'd sometimes throw tantrums. I believed in giving them space, even though their parents knew my methods. Unfortunately, local aunties would often criticise me," another said. "To keep the parents informed, I'd record the incidents and send them the videos."
Parent responds
A netizen claiming to be the boy's parent and the employer of the woman later commented that she had been instructed to ignore the child during meltdowns.
Speaking to Stomp, the man said the "negligently captioned" viral post had caused distress to his wife and the helper.
He explained that his son was upset as he wanted to go to the playground, but the helper did not allow it as it was drizzling.
He added that the woman was not "playing on her phone" or "talking to her boyfriend" as alleged online, but was texting the boy's mother to update her on the situation.
According to him, the person filming was pushing a bicycle with her child, who appears to be around 10, walking behind her.
"My helper noticed the person taking the video, and further informed my wife about this."
The parent said he intends to lodge a police report in hopes of having the video taken down, as he believes it identifies his children and their caregiver.
"The video has clearly caused my kids and helper to be identifiable," he said.
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