Redditor asks: Paid for my own bridesmaid's dress, got called helper, got $30 red packet – is this normal?
Redditors had plenty to say about a bridesmaid who paid for her own dress, got called a helper at the wedding, and received less than $30 for a red packet from the well-off couple, even while she gave them one containing several hundred dollars.
"I honestly feel like rejecting future bridesmaid offers because of this. Is this kind of treatment normal for bridesmaids in Singapore?" said @seaturtleonbeach, who made a post on Feb 5.
'Money is not the issue'
While the original poster said in a reply to a comment that it was not about the money, several sympathetic netizens thought it was, and felt the couple was being mean-spirited.
"Not normal. Money is not the issue, but it looks really insulting," said a Redditor.
"Either your 'friend' wanted to take advantage of you or they are less well-off than you think they are," added another.
"The least they can do for friends helping is try to offset whatever angpao (red packet) you might be giving as a normal guest, in return for the help you are providing," said a commenter while one bluntly said: "I think that you just have stingy friends."
One noted: "I'm pretty sure if the couple treated you well and showed gratitude you wouldn't even have batted an eyelid at the amount."
'We never even asked or expected payments'
Several Redditors shared their own experiences as bridesmaids and groomsmen, with one recounting how she flew overseas to be a bridesmaid. "I believe this boils down to the bride not being thoughtful and sensitive enough to make OP feel appreciated, not necessarily because of money entirely," said a Redditor.
One Redditor who was a groomsman said: "We never even asked or expected payments ... the important thing is that our bro got married and we're here to support him."
One bride recalled that she gave her bridesmaids $180 each. "I was so thankful for their efforts! Waking up early, making sure I looked pretty, preparing the wedding things and even lightened the mood because I was nervous and (stressed out)," she said, adding: "I had a small wedding but (splurged) a lot on the (red packets)!"
Another bride declared: "That is not how you treat friends who you value enough to ask to be a bridesmaid."
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