Pianist speaks out on leaving violent fiancé and surviving sexual assault: 'I just needed someone to sit with me'
After leaving a fiancé with violent tendencies, pianist Deng Shuli (transliterated) thought she was starting anew — until she was sexually assaulted by one of her students.
The incident marked the beginning of one of the darkest periods of her life.
Now 34, Ms Deng is speaking out about her experience and how support groups helped her find her footing again.
In light of International Women's Day, she hopes her story will encourage others facing similar struggles and raise awareness about mental health.
Leaving a violent relationship
In an interview with Shin Min Daily News, the professional pianist said she ended her engagement in 2017 due to her fiancé's violent behaviour and moved out to live on her own.
While trying to rebuild her life in a new rental apartment, she was sexually assaulted by one of her students.
The years that followed were an extremely difficult time for her, marked by near-daily emotional breakdowns.
Ms Deng said the incident not only took a toll on her mental health but also strained her relationships, making it difficult for her to trust others again.
Although her family and friends tried to offer support, she said they did not always understand what she needed during that time.
This compounded her frustration and deepened her sense of guilt, as she knew their intentions were genuine.
"Many people rushed to give advice on what I should do," Ms Deng said. "But sometimes what I really needed was someone to quietly sit with me, without saying anything."
Eventually, she found the courage to report the assault to the police.
Although recounting the traumatic events during the process was difficult, she said she is grateful she chose to stand up for herself.
While she understands that some survivors may choose not to report such incidents for various reasons, Ms Deng hopes her story can show others that taking the first step is crucial.
Now an advocate for mental health
Over time, she learned to communicate her needs more clearly to her family. On her cousin's recommendation, she also joined a support group organised by women's advocacy group Association of Women for Action and Research (Aware).
"There, I met people who had gone through similar experiences. Their understanding made me realise I wasn't alone, and that my emotions were normal," she said.
Ms Deng later became an ambassador for Beyond the Label, a nationwide campaign led by the National Council of Social Service (NCSS) and TOUCH Community Services.
By openly sharing her experiences, she now advocates for mental health awareness and encourages others to pay closer attention to their psychological well-being.
Healing through art
During the pandemic, Ms Deng also co-founded a support group with her mentor for women who have experienced sexual assault and domestic violence.
The group uses art-based interventions to provide psychological support and a safe space for healing — something Ms Deng said has helped her grow stronger.
"For me, having a firm stance and inner self-support is very important," she said. "There is still so much beauty in the world, and there are people worth trusting.
"I hope to help others build trust, open their hearts and share their mental health journeys."
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