‘Don’t necessarily have to have the same experience in order to empathise’: Indranee Rajah on leading marriage parenthood workgroup as single woman
Responding to online discourse about her leading the Marriage & Parenthood (M&P) Reset Workgroup, Minister in the Prime Minister’s Office Indranee Rajah said that one does not “necessarily have to have the same experience in order to empathise.”
She was speaking on the Who We Are podcast hosted by Rachel Lim — co-founder of local fashion brand Love, Bonito — in an episode titled “What does it take to want a future in Singapore?” uploaded on May 20.
During the 49-minute-long podcast, Ms Indranee touched on several issues surrounding the republic’s low Total Fertility Rate (TFR), as well as her views on marriage and parenthood as the minister leading the new work group.
‘Don’t necessarily have to have the same experience in order to empathise’
Since being appointed to lead the work group, many have questioned whether a single woman without children is the right candidate to tackle issues surrounding marriage and parenthood.
Addressing the elephant in the room during the podcast, Ms Lim put that question directly to Ms Indranee, asking how she “sits with that tension”.
In response, Ms Indranee said that she takes it “very matter-of-factly”, adding that there simply had not been the right person at the right time for her. “So my life trajectory is such that I’m single and that’s fine. That’s for me,” she explained.
Ms Indranee also shared that she had lost several family members over the years, – recounting the death of her father when she was very young, her sister to breast cancer, her brother to a heart attack, and her mother, who died in 2025.
Because of those experiences, Ms Indranee said she understands the importance of family “first-hand”, adding that when loved ones are gone, “you feel that absence”. She said this is why she hopes Singaporeans can have families of their own, so they too can experience the love and joy she did growing up.
Another perspective, she noted, is that one does not “necessarily have to have exactly the same experience in order to empathise.” She pointed out that the key thing is to understand where the concerns lie and how she can do her best to support them.
Looking back at her own life, Ms Indranee said she has no regrets, adding that what is important thing is to make the most of what one has. “You may not have something for yourself, but if you work hard so that others can have it and it’s a good thing for them, then that’s great,” she said.
‘Give (marriage and parenthood) a chance’
They also discussed why Singaporeans today may prioritise quality of life, freedom, and personal fulfilment over parenthood.
While acknowledging individuals’ desire to enjoy their younger years, Ms Indranee posted a question: “Is there something else which would also give you great satisfaction, joy, and fulfilment? If there is, such as marriage and parenthood, give that a chance.”
Describing them as a “personal choice” she respects, Ms Indranee cautioned that while making that decision, individuals should “bear in mind that nature and biology have a clock of their own.” She added that she hopes Singaporeans would not put off the decision for so long that they later struggle to start a family.
“Everybody has to make their own decisions, their own choices, and what is right for them,” she said.
Concluding the podcast, Ms Indranee said she ultimately hopes women can feel “safe and secure in having children without paying a huge price for it”, and that they understand their identity does not have to change with parenthood.
She also said she hopes people understand her intentions, explaining that her approach “comes from a place of wanting the best for Singaporeans”, and calling for the support for the marriage and parenthood reset, which she said is “really for the future of Singapore.”
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