'I cannot blame him': Daughter who stepped up to care for family when her father went to prison
Christine Tan
The Straits Times
Feb 15, 2026
While leaving home for school one day in August 2012, 13-year-old Vinnie Tan Jia Si watched in shock as police officers handcuffed her father and led him away.
Overnight, the family lost their sole breadwinner and Vinnie – the eldest among four girls – was forced to grow up faster than she had expected.
With her homemaker mother having to enter the workforce to make ends meet, the Secondary 1 student became a "second mother" to her younger siblings.
She could have resented her father.
But more than a decade on, there is no trace of bitterness between Ms Tan, now 26, and her father, Mr Theophilus Tan Hen-Wei, 55, during an interview at Just BrewIN, a cafe in Jalan Besar run by charity Yellow Ribbon Cares (YR Cares), which supports former offenders and their families.
Of her father, who was jailed for over two years for money laundering, Ms Tan said warmly: "He's just a human being... I know that money was a problem and he had to find it, and it's not easy. I cannot blame him."
She is a beneficiary of NeuGen Fund, which supports the families of former offenders through assisting with their children's education and running bonding activities, among other initiatives, in a bid to prevent intergenerational offending.
Ms Tan's tertiary education was sponsored by the fund, which supported nearly 200 families in 2025, up from between 100 and 168 families annually from 2020 to 2024.
More families are set to receive such support with the merger of three organisations – the Industrial and Services Co-operative Society (ISCOS), NeuGen Fund and Yellow Ribbon Fund – into YR Cares.
ISCOS supported close to 2,000 former offenders every year, and the Yellow Ribbon Fund helped 4,095 inmates, former offenders and their families in 2024.
YR Cares, which was formed in September 2025, will officially start operations from April 2026.
A YR Cares spokesperson said the merger will bring together the organisations' strengths and build a more coordinated support system.
The charity will work with the Ministry of Social and Family Development's ComLink+ family coaches, and with tuition centres to help children of incarcerated parents.
It will expand its reach to more potential beneficiaries through prison link centres, where families can visit inmates and find support, and the Singapore Prison Service.
Latest statistics show that Singapore's five-year overall recidivism rate increased from 36.6 per cent for the 2019 release cohort to 39.3 per cent for the 2020 release cohort.
"To support beneficiaries more effectively, the aftercare network needs to grow stronger," said the YR Cares spokesperson.
'I couldn't show that I'm sad'
Mr Tan, a former taxi driver, had helped loan sharks transport cash from illicit gambling activities across the Causeway, earning $400 to $500 a trip.
"I thought it was good money," said Mr Tan in an interview with The Straits Times, adding that he had wanted to provide for his wife and children. He would buy treats for them every time he went to Malaysia.
For nearly two years, he delivered up to half a million dollars each time across the border, before the police caught him.
When he was jailed, his wife had to start working as a sales promoter and could not fully care for their children.
Some days, Ms Tan had to skip school to look after her youngest one-year-old sister. Even when relatives and friends later cared for the baby, Ms Tan would pick her up and buy dinner for her siblings daily after school.
She distanced herself from friends in secondary school, unable to hang out after classes.
"I couldn't talk to anyone about this. I couldn't show that I was sad or depressed," said Ms Tan, tearing up.
Money weighed heavily on her young mind, with memories of creditors trying to repossess her family's furniture, and her mother struggling to give them an allowance.
When she visited her father, she would ask: "Why did you go inside (prison)? Mummy has been hard on me. She expects me to help her with things and I cannot do the things I want."
Mr Tan could only apologise while feeling a deep sense of helplessness.
He regretted missing his daughters' birthdays and not being able to take them on outings.
Recalling how his youngest girl used to cry on rainy days, he added: "When I was in prison and heard thunderstorms, I would think, 'How is my daughter?'."
Mr Tan resolved to turn his life around after he became a Christian in prison.
After his release in February 2015, he started working as a truck driver and later joined the environmental services sector, where he worked his way up to become an operations manager.
Ms Tan also noticed he had stopped drinking and smoking and learnt to control his temper.
"He really changed as a person and became a very good father. He listened to us if we had problems and always offered help," she said.
While Ms Tan did well enough to get Edusave bursaries every year, she hesitated to pursue higher education as she was worried about the cost.
Relief came when she secured a sponsorship of more than $11,000 for her polytechnic course and $36,000 for her university studies from NeuGen Fund.
"I felt a huge burden lift off my shoulders," said Ms Tan, who graduated with a degree in diagnostic radiography from the Singapore Institute of Technology in October 2025.
Ms Tan, who is now a radiographer at Woodlands Hospital, also joined NeuGen Fund's youth engagement platform, where she took part in activities with fellow children of incarcerated individuals.
Mr Tan, an O-level certificate holder, has since earned two diplomas himself – one in Bible studies and the other in leadership performance management.
Beaming at her father, Ms Tan said: "I'm very proud of you."
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