Neil Humphreys: Never mind albatrosses and ambassadors, proud S'poreans built S'pore miracle
It's not easy being a Singaporean. Being a comparatively new and successful nation, a resident's "Singaporean-ness" is forever being tested.
It's like being a Manchester City fan.
One's loyalty and devotion are always being challenged. Whether you're a fan of Manchester City or of our city-state, the cynical questions are interchangeable:
Have you always been a supporter or only since the money came in?
Are your successes homegrown or dependent upon foreign investment?
Is the foreign investment dodgy?
If the money ran out, would you stick around or move to a noisy neighbour?
Singaporeans are almost means-tested to determine their eligibility as a 'real Singaporean', just to make sure that they are not secret devotees of China, Malaysia, the United States or — worst of all — the food and airports of other countries.
(It's only a matter of time before the words of the National pledge are amended to: "We, the citizens of Singapore, pledge ourselves as one united people to Changi Airport and our hawker centres, regardless of rival airports in the Middle East and the fact that hawker food is three times cheaper in JB.")
A week of proving our loyalty
In the last week alone, Singaporeans had to declare online that they were not China-Chinese, not beholden to the US, not an afterthought in the 1965 separation with Malaysia and not a football basket case.
Indeed, the last one is the daftest example of the kind of schizophrenia that the average Singaporean must go through on the international stage.
One minute, we're celebrating the Lions' qualification to the Asian Cup. The next minute, the Young Lions are losing 3-1 to Timor-Leste in the SEA Games, which was a huge shock. Some of us didn't even know Timor-Leste had a football team.
A quick search revealed that Timor-Leste's senior men's football team is ranked 197th in the FIFA World Rankings. Apparently, their youngsters were not optimistic against the Young Lions, until they found their inspiration — Donald Trump winning the Fifa Peace Prize. After that, anything seems possible in football.
The US ambassador and the "Singapore miracle"
Speaking of patriotic Americans, the new US Ambassador to Singapore reminded his hosts that they had to remember the important role that the US played in Singapore's economic miracle.
This went down about as well as Ebenezer Scrooge showing up at Tiny Tim's house for Christmas dinner and asking the kid to pay a tariff on his crutches.
Online reactions were swift. Ambassador Anjani Sinha was jokingly referred to as a "debt collector". It should be clarified that the American Embassy will not be employing ah longs to scrawl "owe money, pay money" on HDB walls.
Apparently, US contractors are not permitted to make a mess of a family home, unless it's the White House.
Of course, geopolitical observers have pointed out that the US provided regional stability in the post-Cold War period.
There's no doubt that American intervention brought economic prosperity, security and the McGriddle to our island. If that's not worth a 10 per cent tariff, then what is?
'I'm Chinese, but…'
But the anti-US, pro-Singapore rants online have been matched by their anti-China, pro-Singapore counterparts.
As the fallout from the Japan-China row continues, there's been a fascinating "I'm Chinese, but…" competition playing out on social media.
In a quest to prove one's Singaporean-ness, posts often begin with … "I'm Han Chinese. I'm a third-generation descendant of Chinese immigrants. I have a framed photo of Jack Ma on my desk and I spent seven years stalking Faye Wong but… I am still a proud Singaporean!"
It's marvellous.
Singapore spends millions on national day parades and nation-building exhibitions at community clubs and libraries (don't worry, I'm getting to Operation Albatross), when perhaps all the nation needs is an occasional joust between China and Japan and the odd email interview with the US ambassador.
We don't even need Operation Albatross, which is the most disappointing title since Liverpool's during the Covid era of empty stadiums.
In World War II capers and espionage thrillers, "Operation Something" usually means tall tales of stealthy commandos and below-radar submarines pulling off impossible missions.
In Singapore, Operation Albatross is... a notebook of scribbles.
It's so wonderfully Singaporean.
Yes, I know it's a collection of then Finance Minister Goh Keng Swee's handwritten notes about the "albatross around the neck" negotiations that led to Singapore's separation from Malaysia and the repercussions were considerable. Sort of.
The "did we jump, or were we pushed" narrative is fascinating to history buffs like myself, but the discourse does sound like my late grandmother gossiping about her first boyfriends.
"Well, he thinks he left me," she'd say. "But I was going to dump him anyway, because he had greasy hair and a moustache like Hitler."
Singapore's success belongs to Singaporeans
But seriously, as 2026 approaches, the "why" doesn't matter so much anymore.
It doesn't matter which side ended the brief affair across the Causeway. Just as it doesn't matter what the US or China thinks Singapore should be.
Singaporeans already know. They are the architects of their own existence. They shaped and built the Little Red Dot, with a little help from their friends, obviously, but let's not lose sight of our reality.
Whatever the background, whatever the stakes, Singaporeans have always put Singapore first.
The US ambassador was right in one aspect. Singapore was and remains a miracle, but one defined by its own people. Be proud of that.
Just don't mention the Timor-Leste game.
Neil Humphreys is an award-winning writer and radio host, a successful author and a failed footballer.
