Don't mock old men for falling for AI beauties
Never mind AI-generated beauties, my late father-in-law was old school when it came to scams.
In a digital world, he stayed analog.
He was only ripped off by real women.
In a Batam bar with a dubious reputation, we once found ourselves playing pool. He found himself surrounded by young women. To use the 'league ranking' analogy, if the women were Liverpool, we were a Sunday morning pub team, playing with half a dozen hangovers, two hip replacements, and arthritic knees.
The women sat at the bar and watched us play. Interestingly, their dialogue was remarkably similar to their AI counterparts today.
"Hello handsome," one of them said.
Neither I nor my father-in-law looked up. No one had ever called us 'handsome' in public before-not even our wives.
"You want company?" another asked.
My father-in-law blushed. My father-in-law giggled. My father-in-law took way too long to reply. Rather innocently, I could see he was flattered by the novel prospect of knocking a few balls around with pretty strangers-a prospect that would almost certainly get lost in translation.
The art of flattery (and falling for it)
He started strutting around the table and playing his best pool. The women applauded.
"It must be true what they say about different races," he said.
"What's that?" I wondered, slightly scared.
"White people all look the same to non-white people," he said cheerily. "In Batam, I look like David Beckham."
I loved the man, but he was almost 70, bespectacled and bald.
He did not look like David Beckham.
"You buy us a drink," one of the women said.
"You see? In Batam, I'm rich like David Beckham."
He was a bus driver.
And he was being scammed, in real time. It was fascinating to watch him being reeled in, one flattering comment at a time. Eventually, we wished the women a fond farewell, but my father-in-law went to his grave praising Batam women for their fine taste in men.
The real vs the AI hustlers
I dread to think of the struggles he'd face with the updated, all-new AI version of the attractive female scammer. At least the Batam women were real hustlers, just trying to earn a living. The modern, fake versions-currently trolling a vulnerable uncle near you-are part of the industrial scamming complex targeting all of us.
My father-in-law fell for the early, clumsy scams, when the insidious industry was still in its infancy. He was always either winning the Irish lottery, inheriting a fortune from a dead African prince, or being gifted a free penis extension-often on the same day.
(If heaven exists, I suspect he's living this day out for all eternity.)
Far too many phone conversations often began with …"I know what you're gonna say, Neil, but this one seems real."
To which I would inevitably scream, "Why would Prince Mufasa of Pride Rock leave a million dollars to an East London bus driver?"
So it's easy to stereotype the older gentlemen mentioned in The Straits Times report this week, which focused on the new faces of digital media-i.e., thousands of stunning AI-generated women promising to come to any man, anytime, anywhere, to fulfil his every need.
We can mock the teasing comments posted by the AI women to reel in potential scamming victims, with posts like "I've been wanting to see you for a long time," "I'll come to you," and "I'm in Singapore, hbu?"
Even I read the last one as "I'm in Singapore, HBO?" Which sounded like a dream date to a man of my age-a night in with a beautiful woman and I get to stay on my sofa and watch HBO? Show me where to send my life savings!
If I were single and lonely and digitally illiterate-only the last one is true-such a proposition might genuinely appeal. So I'm not mocking the widowers and single men who've posted thousands of comments, in the eager hope of some female company.
Lonely, vulnerable, and digitally outmatched
By 2030, about one in four of our population will be over 65, which will increase the risk of isolation and loneliness.
Social circles shrink. Physical and mental health challenges rise.
Such men will always be susceptible in a digital world they do not fully understand-promising to alleviate all of the above.
My father-in-law was lucky. He still had my mother-in-law, who would've decorated his best shirt with his Guinness if he'd succumbed to the charms of Batam's working women.
Other men are less fortunate. They are easy prey for romance scams, or "pig-butchering scams", where trust is established before money is extracted through fraudulent investments.
It's no longer a round of drinks in a Batam bar either. University of Texas researchers tracked US$75 billion in cryptocurrency coming from over 4,000 victims into accounts largely in South-east Asia between January 2020 and February 2024.
The only dirty men in these schemes are those faceless hacks behind the algorithms, who target lonely souls to ruin their remaining years. Save our contempt for the scammers and give our ageing uncles a happy and dignified retirement.
The only dirty men in these schemes are those faceless hacks behind the algorithms, who target lonely souls to ruin their remaining years.
If necessary, I can recommend a very popular bar in Batam.
Neil Humphreys is an award-winning writer and radio host, a successful author and a failed footballer.
