--- title: "PDA in S’pore: Have we become the Ministry of Other People Kissing?" url: "/commentaries/pda-singapore-have-we-become-ministry-other-people-kissing" published: "2026-10-28T02:36:07.000Z" updated: "2026-10-28T03:30:16.000Z" section: "Commentaries" authors: ["Jillian Lim"] tags: ["PDA","public behaviour","couple take pda to new heights","TNP News","Commentaries"] --- # PDA in S’pore: Have we become the Ministry of Other People Kissing? Singapore appears to have acquired a new ministry. Entirely self-appointed, the Ministry of Other People Kissing — MOOPK — requires neither a parliamentary majority nor an operating budget. Just a smartphone and an unobstructed view of somebody else’s relationship. It’s officers are everywhere: on the MRT, beside swimming pools and overlooking neighbourhood benches. Their portfolio is extensive. Prolonged embraces. Heads resting on laps. Kisses exceeding an unspecified but apparently nationally understood duration. Which raises a question: why does public affection bother us so much and why, when confronted with something we would rather not see, do we insist on photographing it? ## Public displays of affection: please fall in love, discreetly We are encouraged to date, marry and have children. However, “Get a room!” is the familiar verdict the moment a couple engages in public displays of affection (PDA). Certainly, there is a distinction between a kiss in a park and a sexual performance in a shared residential space. But somewhere between holding hands and requiring the neighbours to close their curtains, lies a considerable territory of perfectly ordinary affection. Must all of it become a disciplinary matter? Scenes that once irritated me on the MRT now provoke a reluctant smile. You know the scene: a schoolgirl nestled against her boyfriend’s chest while he strokes her hair with the solemn dedication of someone tending a prize-winning Persian cat. Then there is the office-bound couple. He holds her handbag and the handrail; she clings to him for balance. They conduct a conversation centimetres apart, exchanging what I can only assume is an intimate understanding of each other’s morning breath. Once, I would have rolled my eyes. These days, I find their enthusiasm rather touching. Perhaps this is what happens in your mid-30s, after nearly a decade of marriage and two young children. Romance slowly dies and you live through that of others. Seeing other people still delighted by each other warms my increasingly Grinch-like heart. If I’m not getting any, at least somebody is — that’s my motto. ## Where should Singapore draw the line on PDA? My tolerance is, admittedly, inconsistent. An affectionate adult couple can strike me as charming. Secondary school students doing the same thing tips my “ick meter” over the edge. “Stop it!” I yell to myself, with an authority nobody has granted me. This probably reveals more about my discomfort than their conduct. Teenage affection becomes considerably less abstract when you have daughters. Where would I want mine to have her first kiss? At what age? Under what circumstances? Foolish of course to think I have any control of these factors. My own first kiss happened at the gate of my condominium after a boy walked me home. In memory, it was sweet and innocent. From a sufficiently disapproving neighbour’s window, perhaps it could have looked like a matter that today they would have filmed. I would rather my daughter eventually feel comfortable bringing someone home than believe affection must be hidden in a stairwell. I’d also much rather catch her first kiss on the couch than watch it on Stomp. ![pda singapore](https://cassette.sphdigital.com.sg/image/stomp/1284db494f875a54abdc6916d60a72ca0b6b3f74eb58b891969b79cc444e8478) *A couple was seen kissing by the roadside in Tengah, while two women were spotted behaving intimately on the MRT.* ## What children learn from seeing affection My eldest daughter, now six, once spotted a man giving his partner a discreet squeeze on an escalator. “MUM! HE TOUCHED HER BUM!” Children possess an extraordinary gift for converting a private moment into a public announcement. AKA #birthcontolatitsbest. The couple sprang apart. I attempted an explanation: “People who are close sometimes show affection through touch. Nobody gets to touch someone simply because they feel like it.” Then ended it with, “They are probably married, like mummy and daddy.” They exchanged a sheepish grin. I had apparently supplied both a relationship status and a marriage certificate. Still, I would rather use such a moment to explain affection, consent and boundaries than teach my daughters that tenderness is inherently shameful. A child noticing a kiss is not grounds to alert the church elders. Sometimes it requires a brief conversation, followed by the considerably more pressing question of what we are having for lunch. ## When did watching become filming? There are reasonable expectations in shared spaces. People should be able to use a playground, swimming pool or train without encountering explicit sexual behaviour. A couple embracing on a bench is not necessarily inviting an audience. Nor does being visible automatically make them “public viewing”. If you can linger long enough to zoom in, focus and worse — get multiple angles of their interaction? I fear the police should be investigating the rest of the content on your phone. There is something peculiar about declaring a scene inappropriate behaviour in public and then arranging for thousands more people to see it through the internet. The kiss ends. The footage acquires a considerably longer life. ## A little affection, a little perspective I am not proposing that every void deck become a honeymoon suite — they’re reserved to be soccer courts. Consideration matters, and so does explicit sexual conduct. Young love can be awkward without being disgraceful. Older people can remain affectionate without becoming a spectacle. Couples can enjoy each other’s company without submitting their behaviour for neighbourhood approval. With the decline of cinemas, where else are our youths meant to practise sucking face? If teenagers are doing teenager things in a deserted park or playground at 2pm on a weekday, where young kids are in kindergarten and adults are at work, who are they really harming? The Ministry of Other People Kissing could then consider a modest reduction in manpower. Some of its officers might even have time for a date. Jillian Lim is an ex-radio DJ and current embroiderer, trying it all till something sticks.